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The inner workings of the mind of Malcolm, distinguished canine.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Log #003:
Lisa has recently attached a basket on her bike handlebars and I am happy to report that I am now mobile.
I enjoy using my mental capabilities to persuade her to ride me around Scottsdale. I am able to observe many goings-on and happenings this way. I keep a watchful eye on the duck situation down at the lake (are they becoming overpopulated? Are they keeping their surroundings neat and tidy?) and checking up on the conditions on homeowners' yards as we ride past. I am always a stickler for overgrown, weedy yards and broken down automobiles. I believe a neighborhood should be a sanctuary of peaceful harmony between law-abiding citizens and the laws themselves.
On a more disturbing note, I fear Lisa is becoming agitated at having to type this blog for me. I read a note she jotted in her journal that said she is "afraid of becoming one of "THOSE" people who have Web sites about their pets, and even write in their voices. That's just sick and pathetic." Based on this writing, I am concerned about her mental well-being. I will try not to tax her too much, but I do need her to type for me (no thumbs, remember?). And if she doesn't see the inherent wisdom of being my willing assistant, I will just have to get a new typist. I happen to know for a fact that I am her "good boy" and a "cute baby," so I am sure she would miss me if I were to pack up and move on to the next young thing.
Until next we speak,
--Malcolm
Lisa has recently attached a basket on her bike handlebars and I am happy to report that I am now mobile.
I enjoy using my mental capabilities to persuade her to ride me around Scottsdale. I am able to observe many goings-on and happenings this way. I keep a watchful eye on the duck situation down at the lake (are they becoming overpopulated? Are they keeping their surroundings neat and tidy?) and checking up on the conditions on homeowners' yards as we ride past. I am always a stickler for overgrown, weedy yards and broken down automobiles. I believe a neighborhood should be a sanctuary of peaceful harmony between law-abiding citizens and the laws themselves.
On a more disturbing note, I fear Lisa is becoming agitated at having to type this blog for me. I read a note she jotted in her journal that said she is "afraid of becoming one of "THOSE" people who have Web sites about their pets, and even write in their voices. That's just sick and pathetic." Based on this writing, I am concerned about her mental well-being. I will try not to tax her too much, but I do need her to type for me (no thumbs, remember?). And if she doesn't see the inherent wisdom of being my willing assistant, I will just have to get a new typist. I happen to know for a fact that I am her "good boy" and a "cute baby," so I am sure she would miss me if I were to pack up and move on to the next young thing.
Until next we speak,
--Malcolm
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